Most crushing moment of my life

(A friend forwarded it to me. Dont know the source. if anyone knows the source, please let me know, will link to that.)

One fine afternoon, 2003, Bihar, India

I was in the 6th class.I was sitting behind my Crush (I never told her anything about it). It was maths class. Jhimmy ma’am was writing something on the blackboard. Everyone in class was copying it.
She was wearing a Green Sari.
  “Everyone done with copying? Shall I rub the board?”
  “Yessss maaaam”
  “Sure?”
  “Yessss maaaam”
Although I hadn’t finished writing till then I didn’t have the guts to say it. I wasn’t very sharp in studies. There were literally millions of things going inside my mind simultaneously making me slow like hell and I was her favourite student to torture.

Staring into my eyes she said, “If anyone hasn’t copied yet, stand up

I froze in my seat. I was praying that she doesn’t check my notebook. But God had something else for me that day.
“Hey you, the boy on the last bench” – she never bothered to know my name – “Show me your notebook.”
I didn’t utter a word. I was almost crying. My eyes were pleading her to stop.
The guy sitting next to me handed her my notebook. And she threw it out of the window.
And seeking the attention of the little children around she announced

Here see the worst boy of our class, completely stupid. I am tired of him.”

She came and slapped me, ” This one for lying to me.” And I couldn’t see any further because of the tears in my eyes… everything was blurry….

Everyone was staring at me. Although I was a kid I could feel the shame on my face. Then there came the most crushing moment of my life.

She (my crush, who was a topper of the class) spoke for the first time about me to her friend,

   “We won’t sit here from tomorrow ma’am, please change our seat

I couldn’t understand that. I felt like, I was slapped again, but only a million times harder.
I don’t remember what happened next. Everything changed that day.
I scored 90% in my 10th board, securing 5th position. She was 15th!
I scored 93% in 12th, She scored 62%
I got Into IIT, She went to some college in NCR
She Proposed me and I rejected her !
And then she asked me why.
I repliedBecause we still can’t sit together

Happy Birthday Amma!!!

Aug 12th was my Mom’s B’day.  It was first time I was away from her in her B’day.  🙁

HAPPY B”DAY MOM!!  (I am still searching Google for the best words to describe you)

MY Mom, The best!!!

 

Incidentally Amitabh Bachchan’s Mom Mrs. Teji Bachchan’s B’day is also on 12th Aug. He posted this in his blog, n I totally agree!!

 

She gave me strength when I had lost and fallen. Gave me hope and courage when I was covered in the dust of adversity. Every whack that she bestowed upon my face or hands were not one of anger and resentment, it was an expression of her overwhelming love and concern for me. She gave me style and dignity. She taught me grace and forgiveness. She educated me on the value of my surname. She directed her anger at me when I erred, not because had erred, but because ‘how could you have erred’. It was almost an anger that took personal responsibility of a mistake done by the other. We all know that the welcome embrace of a friend, a beloved, a senior, an elder is always filled with that special feeling, a sensation we enjoy and relish and feel comfortable with, but we also know that when we put our head by the side of the Mother, or resign our body into the gentleness of her lap, nothing in the world compared or equalled that feeling.

Blessed are they that have felt the presence of a Mother in their lives. Blessed are they that have lent on her for support and succor. Blessed are they that grew fearlessly under the love and affection of the Mother. Blessed are they that had opportunity to get their tears wiped off, by an honest loving companion of confidence in their lives. Blessed are they that were fed by the most gracious hands on food that never tasted better. Blessed are they who had the good fortune of a Mother’s hand on their forehead and the consoling touch of her fingers through their hair. Blessed are they who knew their Mothers knew what no body else would ever know about them, without speaking a word. Blessed are they that could turn to their Mother for decision and opinion on the most complex issues, knowing that the simplicity of her response would be most pragmatic and correct. Blessed are they that could confide to their Mother  and know that it would never go out. Blessed are they that knew that when every door was shut in their face, there was one door that would always remain open for them. Blessed are they that had a Mother ~

LOVE YOU AMMA!!

Do Good Guys Finish Last?

Even if the Bad Ones do have the most fun…

Do destructive qualities help to build the Man that sees him through? Do so called negative traits form the fortress that keeps harmful agents at bay and allow a focused man to get on with his mission? It is a fact that men are equipped with the armory to fight Evil – Physically constructed to withstand harsh conditions, loud and somewhat abrasive voices and logical minds permanently set in problem-solving modes. These qualities topped with natural streaks of suspicion, arrogance, aggressiveness, secrecy, anger, self-centeredness, and coldness, help men to identify with the Enemy and deal with Crime accordingly. It is due to this that the greatest Justice Deliverers have been men as have been the Evicted. But what happens when the men that we respect and seek to be around and be influenced by disappoint us, leaving us crestfallen and shaking our heads?

All marvel at a Man with Power! We are even willing to overlook their eccentricities and shortcomings in the bargain. When a man sits comfortably on the highest point of his success graph, the world is at his feet. Little does this admiring world realize or they do, but don’t openly accept it, that the methods that he utilized to get up there, employed Playing A Highly Strategic and Manipulative Game and more importantly, Winning It… All the way!

invisible-man umennetImmense success comes at a price. All those who have paid it are aware. In some cases this cost is in the form of compromise in personal values and priorities; in others it extends to affect those around him. For most of the lucky winners, they are no delusional ideas about life and its cruel ways. They are prepared and get into it full throttle. They thrive on competition and crush it with glee. Their aim is to conquer and most will go to any extent for it. They can cheat, confuse, dominate, and strike when the time is right. And they do it with pizzazz.

Successful men can be spotted in most social circles and gatherings. They are the ones who dress impeccably, flaunt the latest gizmos, mingle with the right people and give off an aura like no other. Their conversation engages the ones that matter yet, impressing the ones who don’t. They appear dependable though egoistic, brash though skilful. They charm and seem involved, but are fashionably aloof. All in all, they are not afraid to take risks and we believe in them.

These… Ladies and Gentlemen, are Victorious Con Men whom we are drawn towards and aspire to be associated with.

So where does that leave the average Joe – a good man at heart, with virtues of kindness, empathy and trust. Where is his place in a fast-paced, cut-throat environment? Well, not here… as there is no place here for the Hurt and Withdrawn.

nice_guy umennetIf there’s one variety of man’kind’ that women are repelled by, it would have to be a pathetic, whining disillusioned adult male. Yet, if one asks a woman which qualities they seek in their men, it’s always humor (yeah, everyone likes a funny guy!), sensitivity and security, necessarily in that order. But when a dashing, overpowering con man woos her, she just cannot resist… He may not crack the most hilarious one-liners nor is he able to show a remote sign of softness. Yet, she swoons! Does that mean that we are Slaves to the Sinner or is it again just Plain Hypocrisy?


When men in high places let us down we are quick to judge as, of course, what he did was wrong…there’s no doubt about it. But is it so unbelievable? It shouldn’t be. When the young Gandhi spoke (or was duped and dubbed!) against the legendary Gandhi, we were shocked and disgusted but does offering the other cheek and the like really work in today’s world? Where does honesty stop and manipulation begin? Can one be successful and be good at the same time?

Exceptional results can only be achieved through taking the biggest of risks. Where there is Risk, there is the obvious chance of Loss.  The very qualities that take certain men to the position of Power and Envy are the ones that cause their downfall. Had they not possessed exceptional traits, they would have never got to the point where the risks were that high. So, the question remains… is it better to be good than jeopardize oneself and others around by being bad?

Well the best of the con brigade including our own Raju Ramalingam or the legendary Charles Sobhraj, Frank Abagnale Jr, Charles Ponzi et al didn’t believe so…

The truth is that not every man can be Bad and Successful. It is a lot easier to be good. It’s safer and it doesn’t require risk taking, talent, compromises or long hours. Great achievers are rare and unless one is pretty sure their deeds are destined to go down in the annals of history, they shouldn’t bother making the effort.  Wannabe con men are easier to detect than the real ones! So for the majority of us, it’s preferable to be labeled Nice than a Loser.  If one has it in them to make it big as a nation altering politician, he/she should know what to say and when, as one of the most important aspects of being a successful (con) man is TIMING. But fortunately for most, the time is never right!

good-guys-finish-first-umennet

Relatively guarded lives however allow Good Guys to see their responsibilities through and are therefore more dependable. The risks they take are more calculated and their lives spent dwelling rather far fromthe edge, allow for dealing with the unnatural ups and rather de-motivating downs of life much better. A surplus of good qualities may not have their place in a competitive field, but they are more than welcome to most women, who these days, expect their men to spend time, communicating and bonding with her and other close ones. So though the Good Guys may come in last, they do arrive intact and with lesser damage.

All said and done, a good, decent and predictable boy is by far a less stressful option when introducing to the parents! There are no surprises and all goes as planned. And no parents really want their future son-in-law to be a potential Scamster or Serial Killer, even though their starry eyed daughter considers him to the centre of the Universe…

Note:  This write-up has been authored by  Barkha Prabhakar, who is a Guest Author  at umennet.wordpress.com.

Confessions of new age virgins

Found this article in Mid-Day

Most men are okay experimenting before they get hitched, but they prefer if their woman is untouched
– Munira Chendvanker

I had been the “easy” one among my friends. I was the one who got kissed first, and couldn’t quite understand what was taboo about “making out”. My friends teased me about my long list of boyfriends. But it was okay. I tried things at my own pace, except when it came to sex.

I was a virgin when I got married, and if I ever tell them, they’d raise an eyebrow. I went from being easy to stupid, in a span of three years. Suddenly, experimenting was the right thing to do. What if you got married to someone you weren’t sexually compatible with, my friends would’ve argued?

She’ll wait till she’s comfortable

Munira Chendvankar, a second year Bachelors of Mass Media student at KC College, was only expressing her opinion among friends over coffee, when the “I want to wait till I’m married” line silenced the rest. “They were surprised. I don’t know what the big deal is, though. Sex is
hype. I want to wait because I want to be comfortable with the guy I share my body with.

And that, I believe, will happen only once I marry,” says the 18 year-old, who hasn’t been in a relationship, and says she will date a man who respects her decision. Munira’s
parents, who she shares a close bond with, trust her. “They’ve told me never to cross the line. I don’t want to break their trust. Love is more important than lust, anyway.”

Munira is an anachronism

The crowd she hangs out with, the lifestyle they lead, luxuries they enjoy, make for a setting where sexual freedom would be permissible. Munira’s classmate Priyanka Vohra, 18, stands at the other end of the spectrum, saying it depends on the relationship and individual. “Why is sex before marriage seen as wrong? It’s pretty obvious that everyone is doing it,” she shrugs.

Marriage is boring

TV anchor Suprita Mitter, 24, has a boyfriend, but insists she’s going to wait to get married to pop her cherry. “Marriage is so boring. If we had sex before marriage, we’d take away the most exciting bit of being married.” Besides, Suprita stresses, the consequences can be complicated for a woman.

Abortions are routine

Unwanted pregnancies are on the rise in India, but it’s Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) that are raising an alarm among gynaecologists. Dr Rishma Dhillon Pai, Consultant at Lilavati and Jaslok Hospitals, reveals she’s been conducting almost 25 abortions a month. “What’s
worrisome is the attitude youngsters display. Most of them think it’s all okay.” The girls are usually aged 19 to 25, and belong to the city’s elite.

Society, religion dissuade some

The city’s psychologists believe the reasons for shying away from sex, could be many. With our conservative sensibilities, most Indians aren’t comfortable with their body, raising the fear of rejection, when exposed. Psychologist Dr Seema Hingorrany says, “I’ve also encountered some who are fiercely career driven. Sex complicates a relationship. They don’t have time for extra baggage.”

For others, it has to do with morals and religion. Dr Rahul Ghadge, psychiatrist with Bafna
Polyclinic tells you how “wrong” is considered a synonym for sex, since some religions stress on celibacy before marriage, and frown on contraception. “Some youngsters may feel sexual freedom before marriage is not in keeping with societal norms. There is this notion of turning ‘second hand’ if you’ve lost your virginity,” he says.

Why is sex before marriage seen as taboo? It’s pretty obvious that everyone is doing it.– Priyanka Vohra

Marriage is so boring. If we had sex before marriage, we’d take away the most exciting bit about being married.

– Suprita Mitter

Tell the world how you lost it

If losing your virginity was one of the best things that happened to you, why not share the experience? And if it wasn’t, you can still share it, provided you have the b*lls. The Virginity Project is a blog where readers are invited to share experiences about losing their virginity. If you aren’t bold enough to post, you can always read, right? Log on to http://www.virginityproject.typepad.com

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